Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Rumor Mill

This afternoon, I learned that there is a rumor churning about me ... Basically, the rumor is that I'm pregnant. Yeah ... pregnant.

Um. WTF?

If the pregnancy rumor wasn't bad enough, the other part of it is that I got married "unexpectedly" because I'm pregnant.

Ahhhhh. Seriously, WTF?

Ok, first, I'm not pregnant. There is no baby in this belly. Second, I would never have gotten married for the sole reason of being pregnant. That's not how my brain works. I make decisions based off of how something would benefit me. After years of calculation, I finally determined marriage would indeed be beneficial to me: future schooling is free, health insurance purposes, I wanted half of Mason's retirement, I got $10 off my car insurance each month ... You see? Marriage = financially good things. Oh yeah, and I love Mason too ... So it all worked out.

Anyway, to the rumor starters, please start a new rumor about me that does not involve babies. The pregnancy thing sends a cold shiver up my spine. And, I have a major fear of pooping while giving birth so the likelihood of me giving birth is very slim.  I would be happy with any rumors involving me as a serial killer, gambling addict, transvestite, or a plus size model. Thanks!

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