This afternoon, I learned that there is a rumor churning about me ... Basically, the rumor is that I'm pregnant. Yeah ... pregnant.
If the pregnancy rumor wasn't bad enough, the other part of it is that I got married "unexpectedly" because I'm pregnant.
Ahhhhh. Seriously, WTF?
Ok, first, I'm not pregnant. There is no baby in this belly. Second, I would never have gotten married for the sole reason of being pregnant. That's not how my brain works. I make decisions based off of how something would benefit me. After years of calculation, I finally determined marriage would indeed be beneficial to me: future schooling is free, health insurance purposes, I wanted half of Mason's retirement, I got $10 off my car insurance each month ... You see? Marriage = financially good things. Oh yeah, and I love Mason too ... So it all worked out.
Anyway, to the rumor starters, please start a new rumor about me that does not involve babies. The pregnancy thing sends a cold shiver up my spine. And, I have a major fear of pooping while giving birth so the likelihood of me giving birth is very slim. I would be happy with any rumors involving me as a serial killer, gambling addict, transvestite, or a plus size model. Thanks!