Tuesday, April 5, 2011

He Struck Again




Yup. Jesus left me another gift and a note today. (Click here first and then here if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) Here's what the latest note said:

Remember that scene in Fight Club when Ed Norton has his 'WTF' moment and realizes he and Brad Pitt are one and the same?

It's sort of like Me and chocolate. There's a reason you feel better after you eat it. (Duh).

Enjoy the fish. Missed you Sunday.

- Jesus

*****

When you're close with Jesus like I am, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to spread the Word and all that. So, I'm thinking about possibly becoming a Sunday school teacher and teaching the kids what I have learned from Jesus. These are just some sample lesson plans of mine:

Topic 1: WTF kids! Let's talk like Jesus. 

Possible Activities: (Large group) Discuss curse words and all the acronyms for curse words.  (Small group) Role play talking like Jesus by using the phrase WTF in various sentences.

Topic 2: Fight Like Jesus.

Possible Activities: (Large group) Watch Fight Club and talk about the themes of Jesus throughout the movie. (Another large group activity) Eat chocolate and then just sit there until the parents are ready to pick them up.

Topic 3: This Blows.

Possible Activities: (Large group) Talk about how Jesus will give you chocolate and free gifts if you never come to church or Sunday school again. (Another large group activity) Teacher brings chocolate and free gifts to class to keep students entertained while she sleeps in a corner and wonders why she ever decided to become a Sunday school teacher.



3 comments:

Brittany said...

This is also why you won't be allowed to do daycare for me....Thank you, JESUS for letting me see this side of Danielle!

Danielle said...

Uhhhhhhh. What?

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious!!!