Friday, January 14, 2011

Zodiac Killers

So, as I was spinning away at spin class this morning, my friend tells me that there's been a change to the Zodiac signs and that I may not be what I've always thought I've been!!!!!

Whaaaaa????????

My heart can barely take spin class let alone news that this Pisces may not really be a Pisces!!!!!!

Well, I've been researching the new Zodiac stuff all night and it looks like the Minnesotans went and effed up my entire identity. Basically, the Minnesota Planetarium Society says that because of gravitational shifts, the alignment of the stars is off by about a month with the old Zodiac model. And, I guess there also used to be a 13th constellation, but the ancient Babylonians tossed it out for some reason and went with only 12. It looks like, though, the 13th one is back in the game. So, not only did our signs shift, but now there's an additional one!

The new Zodiac looks like this:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17. (THE NEW ONE!)
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

My birthday is March 11th ... Not only am I still a Pisces, but apparently I'm an Aquarius as well!

I feel so ...


TORN!

If the new Zodiac has your panties in a bunch, don't fret. Apparently, it's very controversial and many astrologers are poo-pooing the whole thing. This should be quite a relief to all the people who are wondering what to do with their Scorpio tattoo now that they're really a Libra!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It was actually Parke Kunkle, a local professor and board member OF the Minnesota Planetarium Society who said it. The institution itself has said nothing on the matter.
Sensationalist news stories indeed.