Friday, November 5, 2010

30 Reasons Why ...

I hate wearing winter coats:
  1. They are bulky.
  2. They are uncomfortable.
  3. They suffocate me.
  4. My armpits get super sweaty wearing them, no matter how cold it might be.
  5. Most of the time, they are unnecessary. No one has gotten hypothermia walking from their car into Walmart.
  6. They do not accentuate my large breasts.
  7. They constrict movement.
  8. My purse never stays on my shoulder when wearing one.
  9. They make me feel fat.
  10. The collar itches my neck.
  11. They make driving difficult.
  12. I always have trouble finding my chapstick when wearing a jacket. I don't know why.
  13. They make me crabby.
  14. My wool one collects dog hair.
  15. I hate the velcro wrist thingys on my Columbia one.
  16. My down jacket makes me feel like I'm in sauna. (I really freakin' hate that one.)
  17. They are expensive.
  18. I always end up zipping up a strand of my hair or part of whatever sweater I'm wearing.
  19. I think jackets are oppressive.
  20. There is nothing sociological about them.
  21. They don't impress me much.
  22. The movie Full Metal Jacket wasn't really about a jacket.
  23. Waste of fabric.
  24. I truly believe Winter jackets have been at the root cause of many wars.
  25. Jesus never wore one. 
  26. But, I bet Hitler did and who'd wanna be like him?
  27. They make my eyes water.
  28. I hate them.
  29. They make me feel bad about myself.
  30. I enjoy being cold.


Vanessa Rogers said...

I COMPLETELY agree! Full heatedly! I laughed so hard at this! Great list.

Danielle said...

I'm glad I'm not alone!!!