Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Holy Hell (APAD)

The 323rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


If Hell is actually a place, I'm pretty sure I'm headed straight to a Veterinarian's Office upon my death ...

Vet's Office = My personal Hell

This afternoon, both dogs had a doc visit to update shots and also to get Madge's funky skin condition checked out. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, the visit took a hellish turn as Hilde jumped out of the window of my still moving car!

&*##$#$#$#*&#!

I slam my car into park. Chase after her. Grab her. Scream. Go back to the car. Get Madge. Head inside. It's only been 5 minutes and I am so freakin' crabby that any sort of weapon should be kept far, far away from me 'cause I will most definitely use it.

We're finally inside. Both dogs are beyond hyper and nervous, because they hate the vet. I'm trying to sign in and Madge has quadruple-wrapped herself and her leash around both my ankles. Sadly, I don't realize this until I try to take a step and come crashing down on top of some other dog, who is probably dead right now thanks to me crushing him with my weight.

&*##$#$#$#*&#!

We sit. Madge is howling incessantly. I am trying to control both of them because they are so spastic right now. Then ...

Hilde poops.

Yep. Poops. Right in the middle of the waiting room.

&*##$#$#$#*&#!

I clean it up. That was fun! I sit back down trying to remain calm. In my head, though, I'm screaming obscenities and contemplating just asking the vet to put both of my dogs to sleep. Or perhaps I'll drop them off at the dog pound on the way home. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ...

Rebel can come back now.

Not us.

Peeper the doctor is ready.

Not us ... again.

Foofoo ...
Claudia ...
Barney ...
Lilac ....


OMG! It's now 45 minutes past our appointment.

50 minutes ...

1 hour and 5 minutes later, we're in!!!!!

Of course, our appointment lasted all of 5 minutes, minus the two minutes it took to clean up pee since Madge decided the Vet's table would be a great place to urinate.

Oh my gawwwwddddd!

$150 later I am finally out of the Vet's office, only to find out that, in my panic chasing down Hilde when we first arrived, I forgot to turn my car off. It has been running the ENTIRE time! Yay me ...

Like I said, if Hell is in fact a destination, I'll be sitting in a Vet's office for eternity.

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

HAHAHAHA!!! I love love love this story! I soooo needed something to make me laugh. You didn't tell me about the car still running. lmfao!!