Sunday, August 1, 2010

Gonna Steal From Ya (APAD)

The 314th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Guess what?

I have been suspected of stealing TWICE today! And I didn't even try to steal anything!


During the first suspected stealing event (SSE), I was at a local department store doing some school clothes shopping. I scored three pairs of nice jeans on the clearance rack! I browsed around a little while longer and then headed to the cash register with the jeans. All was going fine. The old cashier lady was taking off all those security tag thingys, folding the jeans, bagging them ... Then she takes the bag and puts it over this scanner and it beeps. So she says "I musta missed a tag ... sometimes they put them in pockets." No big deal, right? She opens up the bag and starts looking through the pockets and she gets to the last pair and says: "Oh, that's what it was. A pair of Fossil sunglasses in the pocket." At first, I was just like "Oh that's weird," and wasn't really thinking anything about it. Until she starts glaring at me and being really snippy and rude. Then I was like "OMG, she thinks I was trying to steal them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I freakin' wasn't!

As I walked away I know that old hag was gossiping with the other super-ancient cashier about the thief she just caught.

*SIGH* I wasn't trying to steal, dammit!

The second SSE occurred about two hours later. I was at the Mall and just bought some books from one of the bookstores when I decided to head to another store before leaving. As soon as I walk in, the freakin' security alarm thing starts going off. Grrrrreeeat. Luckily, the cashier dude was nice enough to take my bag of books to the little machine that deactivates the security things so it wouldn't happen again. Problem solved, I hope!?

As I'm wandering around the store, this other cashier dude who resembles Lurch from The Addams Family, keeps yelling across the store, "Hey, if that thing goes off when you leave I'm gonna throw a shoe at you." Ummmm, huh? "No, seriously I'm really gonna throw a shoe at you." OK, WTF? Now I'm just irritated ... Everyone is staring at me and Lurch keeps yelling at me and laughing because he thinks he's hilarious.

I'm freakin' leaving.

Of course, I walk out of the store and what happens? Oh yeah. Security alarms sound. Lovely. Really lovely. This time around, though, the nice cashier dude was not so nice. This time, I have to let him see the inside of my purse AND let him look through my other bags.

Oh. My. God.

Kill. Me. Now.

I DIDN'T STEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, of course, Lurch takes off his shoe and is like "I'm gonna throw this at you. I told you I would. Hahahaha."


After the second SSE, I was done for the day. No more shopping. No more interacting with people. Just get me the eff home!

Overall, my shopping experience sucked. How is it even possible I was suspected of stealing twice in one day?! Seriously how? Perhaps God/Mother Earth/Karma/The Dalai Lama/Colonel Sanders was trying to teach me a lesson. Whatever the lesson was, though, I have no freakin' clue!

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