Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Life is Beyooooootiful! (APAD)

The 282nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Everything looks a little more beautiful when it's a Wednesday and that Wednesday is really your Friday because you have an extra two days off and then it gets even better since Monday is a holiday and you don't have to go back to work until Tuesday!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Two's, To's, Too's, but no Tutu's (APAD)

The 281st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

This is one of my favorite church signs around! Aside from the grammatical blunders that make me giggle, this church usually posts messages that scare the ba-Jesus right out of me ... although that's probably not their intention. The message above is fairly peaceful compared to some of the ones I've seen. Usually they're more like: THE DEVIL IS WAITING AT YOUR DOORSTEP WITH A KNIFE AND IS GOING TO STAB YOU TO DEATH. IS JESUS YOUR BODYGUARD?

Ok, so I'm exaggerating ... slightly ... just a little ... a teeny, weeny bit.

But, who am I to judge? Maybe these signs are really effective for them ...

Anyway, my bud Sheri came up with a brilliant idea of starting a blog about all of the funny, or misspelled, or grammatically incorrect signs of Southeastern Ohio ... they seem to be rather plentiful in this area!! Soooooooooooo, in preparation that a blog like this may eventually happen, everyone should start snapping pics of funny signs as you see them!

Snap and save, people. Snap and save.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Sunbathing Beauty (APAD)

The 280th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Not only is she topless and bottomless, but she forgot to put on sunscreen! Oh dear.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

What A Crock! (APAD)

The 279th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Soooooooooooo ... today I finally watched the movie Precious - based upon the novel Push by Sapphire - and what an uplifting film that was! I really liked it, but it kinda made me feel like I did after seeing The Wrestler ... like "Ok, I think I'll go kill myself now." Geesh. Horribly depressing!

After the movie, I thought about doing something productive to lift me from my Precious-induced depression, but it was so freakin' humid and then it started to rain so I couldn't do anything outside anyway, and then I decided it was just too late to get started on anything so I just might as well watch more TV ... UNTIL ... I saw my old crock pot ...

Arts and crafts time!!!

I had Mason drill a hold in the bottom of it and then filled it with some dirt and a plant and WALLAAAHH - it's my new planter!

I is clever.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

As it turns out ... (APAD)

The 278th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

My 6 mile walk in super hot weather was not a good idea.

However, my breaded tofu sandwich with cajun seasoning, topped with tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and cucumbers was a freakin' great idea!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Eye See it! Do you? (APAD)

The 277th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

It's one of four things:

(1) Either a dyslexic person is putting up a lot of the local business signs. Or,

(2) Someone hired a 4 year old to do it and thus are in violation of Child Labor Laws and should be imprisoned promptly. Or,

(3) This person is an idiot and should be imprisoned promptly. Or,

(4) The backwards N is a secret code of some sort that involves ground beef, Jesus, and fish.

Chew on that.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Slippery Zippers (APAD)

The 276th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Despite what some people may say, I actually do want the zippers on my pants to stay up! I have this one pair of pants, though, where the zipper is just constantly coming down ... I don't have many pants to choose from, so when one of my zippers isn't quite functional that really limits my wardrobe.

The good news is that I've come up with a solution for all of the people out there with slippery zippers! Simply attach an old key ring to the pull tab thingy, zip up, loop the key ring around the button, and there ya go! No more slippery zippers!!

Yes, I know. I'm a genius.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Bored to Sew? (APAD)

The 275th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Mason has been on vacation for almost two weeks now and I'm guessing he is as bored as bored can get ... He has started sewing dish towels for me!!!! WTH?????

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Pagan Garden (APAD)

The 274th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

My new bird bath completely fell apart after I'd had it for like two days. I probably should have just returned it, but I threw away the receipt so ... that sucked. And, since I spent $40 on it, I was bound and determined to fix that piece of crap!

Fortunately, Mason was able to resurrect the broken bath. He also decided to add his own personal touch - a Big Lots gargoyle that he epoxyed and Gorilla glued to the center of it. That thing is stuck on for life! Then he painted it with this stone colored spray paint he found at Walmart. It looks really cool and I'm hoping the gargoyle and birds can coexist in peace!

Happy belated Summer Solstice everyone!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Holy Moly (APAD)

The 273rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Do you think Jesus regrets that He has to love EVERYONE, when He sees signs like this?

(Why do people in Southeastern Ohio have so much trouble with the "N"????)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Old Skool (APAD)

The 272nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

I was a child only my parents could have loved.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Fair Trade? (APAD)

The 271st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Albert came by to see me this morning. Apparently he's into bartering with me now:

Albert: "Hey you ova der! I trade you dis cap for dat dawg."

Me: "Ah, no."

Albert: "I trade you dis bike for dat dawg."

Me: "No I like my dogs, I don't want to trade them."

Albert: "I jus go getta dawg from da fahm [farm] and den you be sorry."


Ah, what?

Should I be scared?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Tip it! (APAD)

The 270th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Chardonnay mademyday!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Doggy Drama (APAD)

The 269th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

My psycho, spazoid dog Hilde hasn't eaten in almost two days! She's spaz-no-more and I'm a little worried ...

I actually slightly miss her obsessive tail-chasing, water drinking, and licking. It's just so not normal for her to be laying around the house acting all peaceful-like!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What The Hell-icopter? (APAD)

The 268th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

So, I can't say I was thrilled when I found out that SOMEONE purchased this - relatively expensive when you're talking about a toy - remote controlled helicopter. However, I will say that over the past two hours I have become an aviation expert and have even managed to land the helicopter, once and only once, on the blade of my ceiling fan! And if you ain't no helicopter geek than you can't even begin to appreciate the difficulty of that feat.

It's been a big day for me, folks. Big, big day!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Act of God (APAD)

The 267th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

That's my rendition of the 62-foot Jesus statue that, until last night, stood in Butler County, Ohio ... The news story is here and the real picture is below.

Apparently, a lightning bolt and fireball hit poor, gigantic Jesus and totally obliterated him.

Until my bud Sheri shared this sad news with me, I had no idea such a huge Jesus existed. It's been a depressing day knowing that I will never have my picture taken next to Big J.

Personally, I think Jesus destroyed his own statue because he was pissed that they made him look like Zeus. Or ... wait ... maybe Zeus was pissed that they were calling that statue Jesus.



Now that's some food for thought isn't it???

Monday, June 14, 2010

Oh, Please (APAD)

The 266th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Oh, the humidity.

Oh, the rain.

Oh, the swamp-like mess that I call a back yard.

Oh, the mosquitoes.

Oh, the flash flood warnings.

Oh, it's only June.

Oh, how I dread July and August.

Oh, the horror.

Oh, please, oh please ... make it stop!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Just Fangin' Out (APAD)

The 265th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

It's true love with True Blood.

Season 3 premieres tonight!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Food Ventures (APAD)

The 264th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Today I tried quinoa (pronounced keen-wah).

It reminds me of a grain, but apparently it's more related to green, leafy veggies like spinach. Quinoa is considered a complete protein, meaning it contains all of the amino acids and it's also high in manganese, iron, copper, magnesium, and phosphorus ... the health peeps say these are all good things for your bod :) So in my pursuit to incorporate more "superfoods" in my diet, rather than my current staples of powdered mini donuts, I decided to try it.

I soaked the quinoa in water for about 15 minutes ... one site said this helps quinoa cook more evenly. Then, I put a 1/2 cup quinoa in 3/4 cups of water and let it boil until the water evaporated. Then I just mixed in whatever I felt like, which turned out to be about 1 cup of diced tomatoes, some chiles, and then some sea salt and black pepper.

It was .....

pretty OK.

I thought it was going to be like rice, but it's not. Although you could probably substitute quinoa for rice in any recipe. It's crunchy and the flavor is nutty. For whatever reason, it really reminded me of that cereal Grape Nuts. I haven't had Grape Nuts in years, so I could just be crazy, but that's really what I kept thinking of when I was eating it.

Although I liked my thrown-together-quinoa recipe, I think next time I'll actually try to find a real recipe. Quinoa definitely intrigues me, but I'm not head over heels for it just yet!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Albert News (APAD)

The 263rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

That is Albert and his brother. Check out the cool tricycle-thingy Albert is on! Well, it used to be a trike until he cut it in half and attached that long, rusty metal pole to it!

It's actually really cool, but the one problem, that Albert didn't think through, is that the seat is so far back that unless you have Gumby legs there is no possible way that you can sit and pedal. So, until Albert figures out how to attach another seat closer to the pedals he is forced to either stand and pedal or worse sit on the pole and pedal!! OUCHERS!

I took this picture of Albert about 10 minutes after my next door neighbor knocked on my door and asked me to keep an eye on her house while they are on vacation.

This is what she said:

Neighbor: Sorry, to bother you, but can you call me if you see Albert or any of his brothers or sisters swimming in our pool this week.

Me: Oh sure, are you having problems?

Neighbor: Well, we're going on vacation and Albert has been breaking through our privacy fence and taking his weekly bath in our pool.

Me: Oh, ok. Yeah I'll watch out ...

Neighbor: Hopefully it won't happen again. My husband is putting a large chain and lock around the gate and we don't think he can break through so ....

Me: Ok, well I'll call you if I see anything.

Poor, poor Albert. I suspect that despite the large chain and lock Albert will find a way (like climb the fence!) to get in that pool. Just look at that trike! He's one creative little feller!

I'm more curious to see what happens when I call and tell her that Albert's in the pool. What is she going to do from several states away? She probably has her whole backyard booby trapped and once she gets the word that he's in there she'll send a five digit code via text to some transmitter buried in her yard that will then set off a string of horrific events that will force Albert from her yard screaming from pain and sheer terror.

I probably shoulda just told her that all you have to do is yell at him and he'll bring you a bouquet of "I'm sorry" dandelions and then months will go by where you never see or hear from him ... ... but then I woulda missed out on the possibility of booby-trapped mayhem and chaos and what fun would that be???????

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Walk Like A Girl (APAD)

The 262nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

I have officially purchased my plane tickets to California for the Nike half marathon in October! Yay! Now, I just gotta start really training for it ...

Ohhhhhh boy.

I still fear that I will die midway through this marathon ... So, in the event I do die, Mason will have the confirmation number for my return flight so that my body can be flown back without another ticket being purchased. I then would like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered somewhere super cool. Where? I don't care ... it just has to be super cool is all!

Anyway, me and my black and white shoelaces are gonna go walk, even though it's 9pm at night and I really want to sit and watch TV and eat some cookies ...

Hmmmmmmmmmm, TV and cookies sound really good ... like really, really good ...

Ok, I really gotta go walk before I talk myself out of it!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Old Gods/The New Gods (APAD)

The 261st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

I don't know if you pay attention to the right hand column of my blog which lists what I'm currently reading, but I think I've been reading American Gods for about six months now! I have this really bad habit of starting a book and then becoming distracted by another book and then another after that and then when I finally really start reading what I originally set out to read several months have passed. Sigh. So, no I really haven't been reading American Gods for six months or however long I've had it displayed on my blog. I've actually only been reading it for about two weeks and just finished it today.

I loved this book. No ... I LOVED this book! Probably one of the strangest, most complicated books I've ever read, but dang it was some good sheeeet! If you're into Gods, mythology, myths, legends, the supernatural, fantasy, mysteries, coin tricks or just like a good book then you should definitely read this. And, even if you don't like any of that stuff, you should still read it, because it's an amazing, imaginative, and creative story - and I can guarantee you that even if you think you know what it's gonna be like, you don't. You have no freakin' clue.

Anyway, my BFF Stephanie doesn't know it yet, but I'm giving American Gods to her to read next. Soooooo, if anyone is interested in reading it after Steph, lemme know.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Can I Do It? (APAD)

The 260th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

It's a dried apricot, silly! Why? What did you think it was?

Sadly, I've never been a fan of apricots. I really should be, though, because apricots are on the list of World's Healthiest Foods.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ...

Perhaps I'll take this on as a challenge. I've already conquered my hatred of tea, thanks to delicious ginger tea, and it's only June! I think I will. I think I'll focus on the dreaded apricot and see if I can't force myself to like it by the end of 2010!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Meet Naschair (APAD)

The 259th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Meet my newest Chauncelot character, Naschair. I named her this, because this old lady hauls balls on her motorized wheelchair! At first, I hated her ... She drives down the middle of the road in that thing, which is really annoying because it can't go more than like 2 miles an hour. Soon, however, I began to appreciate her serious wheelchair skillz.

Today, as I was on the way to the post office, I got stuck behind Naschair. The route I was taking has a hill that you have to go down, not a big one, but if you're on a wheelchair you're definitely gonna pick up some speed. I thought it was gonna take 5 hours to get the post office with Naschair in front of me. Let me tell you, though, this old lady has no fear! She musta pushed the power on high, because she flew down that hill. It scared the bajeezus outta me! She was going so fast I thought she was gonna flip the chair and plant her face right in the concrete. I was dreading all of the blood and probably loose eyeballs that woulda gone along with that accident!

She made it, though.

I captured this picture of her just after I pulled into the post office. I had to take a couple of moments to calm down from Naschair's amazing race ... Makes me want my own motorized wheelchair!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Chauncelot Fine Dining: Part Deux (APAD)

The 258th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Previous Chauncelot menus are here ...

On tonight's menu:


Cacao Puffs mixed with fresh raspberries, blueberries, and blackberries with a splash of almond milk.


Punch from the lands of Hawaii

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Oh So Refreshing! (APAD)

The 257th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

The pomegranate mojito made my Saturday!

Now, I've moved on to my jug o' red wine - yes, it's really a jug and yes, I'm that pathetic - 'cause I've heard the resveratrol in wine is good for you. They say you should only drink a glass a day, but I figure that multiple glasses mean more resveratrol which means that I'm getting healthier by the glass!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Bringin' Flax Back (APAD)

The 256th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Ever since I started drinking Green Monsters, I've been cyber-stalking the Green Monster creator, Angela's, website. Angela has a lot of healthy recipes and links to other health/foodie bloggers. Awhile ago, I posted reviews of a couple of her recipes I tried out. Well, I tried another one!

I made her Flax + Oat Breakfast Power Muffins. Ok, I know the name makes them sound really, really healthy like the - blech, no thanks that tastes like cardboard - kind of healthy. But, I thought WTH ... I'll give it a whirl.

Here's Angela's recipe:

1 ripened banana
2 tsp. Olive Oil
1 organic brown egg (I just used a regular ol' egg)
1/4 cup non-packed brown sugar
1/2 cup freshly grounded flax seed (I buy the already ground stuff)
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup oats
1/2 tsp. baking soda

1. Preheat oven to 350 and grease 6 muffin tins. Mash banana into a medium sized bowl. Beat in oil, egg, and brown sugar. Grind 1/2 cup flax in a blender for a couple mins. In a separate bowl, stir together the dry ingredients (Oats, grinded flax, whole wheat flour, baking soda). Add dry ingredients into wet and stir. Do not overmix. Add nuts or dark chocolate chips if preferred. Spoon into muffin tins. Bake for 15-20 mins. makes 6 power muffins.

This recipe is soooo easy! And, surprisingly, I love these muffins! Now, keep in mind that they don't have tons o' sugar in them, so they're not going to taste like a muffin you would buy in a store or even make from a package. They are definitely healthy, but good at the same time.

I would highly recommend Angela's muffins as a mid-morning/late afternoon snack-a-roo!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Rhymes with Shmendy's (APAD)

The 255th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Seriously, who has better fries than McDonald's?

I could tell you who, in my opinion, has the most God awful fries around, but then I'd probably get sued ... Gotta watch my arse these days.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Muy Bueno (APAD)

The 254th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Nachos for dinner! Yummmmmmmmmm. I like mine loaded down with cheese, onions, tomatoes, and jalapenos. Now, let's all say a prayer that the jalapenos don't give me the jalapoonos!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

No Swig, Gulp, or Chug (APAD)

The 253rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Gee, I'm so thankful you left some juice for me!

Like, seriously, when there's less than a swig of juice left why is it still in the fridge?