A couple of things:
First, I have eaten so many girl scout cookies in the past few days that, now, everytime I see a real, live Girl Scout I puke a little in my mouth. Oh, but wait, that's always happened to me .... hmmmmm, must not be the cookies then!?
Second, a group of young men in suits just knocked on my door. I suspect they were either Jehovah's Witnesses or Latter Day Saints. Ya know what I did? Ah no, I didn't answer the door. Instead, I did the most mature thing possible and dived onto the floor and laid there, hoping they wouldn't see me and just leave. The bad part was that my dogs were barking and jumping all over me, which I'm sure they saw since there's a big window in the middle of the front door.
Is that wrong of me?
Look, I really have nothing against these people. I know that it's their duty to spread the Word and all that. That's totally fine by me ... I'd just much rather watch my DVR'd episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians instead.
And, even if I had answered the door and politely said, "No thanks." I would have been Jesus-stalked ... Seriously .... One day, several years ago, they came a knockin' and I made the unfortunate mistake of answering the door. I thanked them, but said I wasn't interested and they moved on to the next house. Or so I thought. Well, they must have thought I was a soul in peril, because they took special interest in me. Every week for at least 2 months they kept coming back and asking me to go to church or asking me if I read the green Bible they gave me. Or, if I wasn't there, they'd leave tons of literature for me. I finally escaped when I moved out of that place. It totally freaked me out and I've been scared ever since!
Just an FYI: If anyone out there is worried about my mortal soul after reading this, don't be. Me and Mr. Jesus are cool. And, I'm burning a Saint Jude candle right now, in the event we're not. All is good.