Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Something For Everyone (APAD)

The 191st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


I know my honey/garlic tea remedy is not for everyone, so I thought I would share something that you all might find a bit easier to swallow. Apparently, a mixture of honey and cinnamon is also equally as effective. I haven't tried it yet, so I can't speak to it's miraculous powers, but you can read about them all here.

I still think I prefer the honey/garlic, though. Not only is it a great remedy, but if you drink enough you smell slightly like garlic, which is an excellent people-repellent. My passive/aggressive personality particularly loves this aspect!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Town of Intercourse (APAD)

The 190th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


You know you're from Pennsylvania if ...

you can talk about Intercourse, PA without laughing.


You know you're a mature adult if ...

you can talk about Intercourse, PA without laughing.


Obviously, I'm neither because when I read about the fabulous jam they sell up in Intercourse I laughed. Yeah, yeah, I know. I never claimed to be mature, OK!

The brief blurb on Intercourse did make me wonder what other bizarrely-named towns are out there. I found a huge list here, but narrowed it down to, what I believe, are the weirdest and funniest ones:

Dickshooter, Idaho - A town run by women.

Horneytown, North Carolina - An over-viagra-ed population, perhaps?

Big Beaver, Pennsylvania - I have a mental image of this place and it's not good.

New Erection, Virginia - Well, at least it's not an Old Erection.

Fidelity, Missouri - I'd rather live in Horneytown. Sounds more fun.

Hooker Hole, Louisiana - How can prostitution be illegal in a place like this?

Butts, Georgia - I like it. Short, simple, and to the point.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Surprise In The Middle! (APAD)

The 189th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



This afternoon, I was happily enjoying my Sour Blow Pop, when I felt something weird rubbing against the roof of my mouth. I paused, looked at the sucker and saw this black thing stuck to it. I pulled it out, but only got about half of it. The rest of it remained encased in the blow pop. Yes, folks. It was unmistakably a motherfreakin' hair. The first hair I have ever found in a sucker ... and I sucked on it! YUCK.

After carefully analyzing the hair, I believe it came from an older male. Why? Well, the hair was relatively short, even with half of it still stuck in my sucker. It was coarse. And, half of it was black and half a dark grey color. I suppose it could be a woman, but my gut feeling says its a guy who decided not to wear his hair net. My imagination also leads me to think that the guy was soaked in sweat when a piece of his sweaty hair landed, along with several sweat drips, in the sucker destined to be mine. Oh God, how gross. And, I sucked on this guy's hair for about 30 seconds before I realized something was wrong.

Now I am forever bonded to the sweaty, older male who works in the Blow Pop factory.

(By the way, this experience did not deter me from Blow Pops. In fact, after my discovery of the hair, I threw that sucker away and started on another one that, thankfully, was hairless.)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

A Day in 2's (APAD)

The 188th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



2 fights: Ok, so it turns out my rating of yesterday's UFC was indeed premature. The last two fights were awesome. Shane Carwin KO'd Frank Mir and now I can't wait for Carwin vs. Lesnor! And, to finish it off, Georges St. Pierre dominated Dan Hardy for a win. I love GSP and Dan Hardy. I didn't really care who won, but I have to say I have tons of respect for Hardy after that fight. GSP nearly ripped his arm off TWICE and Hardy never tapped out. Anyone else would have! He went the full 5 rounds and it rocked.

2 late: I didn't go to bed until 2am this morning. I haven't stayed up that late in years!!

#2: I ordered the #2 McDonald's breakfast today. It was goooood.

2 cups: I've had two cups of coffee, 2 cappucinos, and think I may need more.

$2: I just found $2 in my couch. I love unexpected money!

2:30pm: It's 2:30pm and I haven't done a thing today. I don't think I'm going to either!

See you 2morrow ...

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Beer, Fight, Goodnight (APAD)

The 187th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



Our BFF's had us over for a lovely dinner of beer braised chicken and potatoes. I liked it. So did Mason. The BFF's, however, not so much. Thus, the recipe received a rating of a big giant X and a Boo!.

Afterwards, we headed back to our house to watch the big UFC fight ... GSP vs. Dan Hardy!!!!!! Actually we're still watching and waiting for the big fight. And, I have to say that I'm incredibly disappointed so far. The fights have been so friggin' boring, that I jammed toothpicks in my eyelids to hold them open. Where's the open wounds, blood, and tap outs?? Is that too much to ask for?? It's getting to a point that I may call it a night before I see my boys fight. So sad. This may be premature, but right now I'm rating UFC 111 with a big giant X and a Boo!!!!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Blech. (APAD)

The 186th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Ugh. I don't feel well at all. Soooooo, I'm going to drink lots of my remedy tea and have a Netflix night of The Men Who Stare at Goats and The Informant.

I am determined to feel better tomorrow! Wish me luck :)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Crafty & Cool (APAD)

The 185th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



These wax crystals are my cool new find!

I have been contemplating making my own candles for years now and have tons of old glass candle jars sitting undernearth my sink. I didn't want to throw 'em away after the candle burned out, seemed like such a waste, so I just kept them. I never attempted the candle-making thing, though, because it seemed really complicated. And, me and hot wax definitely don't mix. I'm pretty sure I would have been seriously injured if I had went through with it!

That's why I love these wax crystals. All you do is buy a package of wicks, stick the wick in a jar, and then fill it with the crystals. Super easy! I found them at Hobby Lobby, but I'm sure they would have them at any arts/crafts store. They seem to have a pretty decent burning life too, so I'm very happy with my find!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Come A Knockin' (APAD)

The 184th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


A couple of things:

First, I have eaten so many girl scout cookies in the past few days that, now, everytime I see a real, live Girl Scout I puke a little in my mouth. Oh, but wait, that's always happened to me .... hmmmmm, must not be the cookies then!?

Second, a group of young men in suits just knocked on my door. I suspect they were either Jehovah's Witnesses or Latter Day Saints. Ya know what I did? Ah no, I didn't answer the door. Instead, I did the most mature thing possible and dived onto the floor and laid there, hoping they wouldn't see me and just leave. The bad part was that my dogs were barking and jumping all over me, which I'm sure they saw since there's a big window in the middle of the front door.

Is that wrong of me?

Look, I really have nothing against these people. I know that it's their duty to spread the Word and all that. That's totally fine by me ... I'd just much rather watch my DVR'd episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians instead.

And, even if I had answered the door and politely said, "No thanks." I would have been Jesus-stalked ... Seriously .... One day, several years ago, they came a knockin' and I made the unfortunate mistake of answering the door. I thanked them, but said I wasn't interested and they moved on to the next house. Or so I thought. Well, they must have thought I was a soul in peril, because they took special interest in me. Every week for at least 2 months they kept coming back and asking me to go to church or asking me if I read the green Bible they gave me. Or, if I wasn't there, they'd leave tons of literature for me. I finally escaped when I moved out of that place. It totally freaked me out and I've been scared ever since!

Just an FYI: If anyone out there is worried about my mortal soul after reading this, don't be. Me and Mr. Jesus are cool. And, I'm burning a Saint Jude candle right now, in the event we're not. All is good.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The New Market (APAD)

The 183rd picture(s) in "A Picture A Day" series.




If you have the palette of a preteen, teenager, college student, or the stereotypical bachelor, as I seem to, then you will thoroughly enjoy my new food find. The other day, I meandered over to the New Market, a local Asian grocery store, and discovered the Japanese version of Ramen Noodles. OMG, they are sooooooooo good! Unfortunately, I only bought one package and had to share them with Mason. But, now, I can't stop thinking about them.

I highly recommend all of you find your local international food store and check these suckers out. Delish!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Yummy Gummy (APAD)

The 182nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Unbeknownst to me, my magazine rack has become the newest place to stick your wadded up gum. Why throw away your gum when you can just save it for later? The grossest part is that the magazine rack is right next to the toilet. Yummmmm.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Scourge of My Garden (APAD)

The 181st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Ramps.

Wild Leeks.

Like garlic do they reek.

Vegetable of the devil they are.

Found in my garden beds wide and far.

I passionately hate these little creepers.

I will now have nightmares while I sleepers.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Sticky/Alice/Fingers/Hatter (APAD)

The 180th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Don't mess with me 'cause I own a skull scarf, a pink pocket knife, and my second pair of stolen 3-D glasses.

I'm wondering ... Do I see 3-D movies for the movie itself or for the glasses? I honestly don't know anymore, because I'm obsessed with these things. And, according to the previews I saw this evening, there's a ton of 3-D movies coming out, which means I may have quite a collection of stolen glasses at some point!

Enough about my odd obsession, though.

I went to see Alice in Wonderland! I loved it. I especially loved Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. I could have done without Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, though. But, Tim Burton didn't consult me on that pick ahead of time so I had to suffer through it. Her huge black eyebrows bugged me and I couldn't focus on anything but them when she was in a scene. Other than that, it was much more mucher than I expected and you should definitely see it!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Strangest Of All (APAD)

The 179th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


I am weird.

My life is weird.

Today was the weirdest day of my life.

Things are only going to get weirder.

Because of all this, I have a sudden and strong urge to become a crazy, animal-hoarding, reclusive old lady.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Beer for Breakfast (APAD)

The 178th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



I had the most delicious Chocolate Guinness Cupcakes for breakfast this morning.

It was the one bright spot in a blah day. Thanks Missy!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Green Things!! (APAD)

The 177th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



Limes, pickles, The Incredible Hulk, kryptonite, boogers, baby poop, grass, emeralds, shamrocks, my living room walls, cacti, lettuce, peas, The Green Lantern, frogs, green beans, jalapenos, Oscar The Grouch, caterpillars, moss, jade, money, sage, pine trees, unripe bananas, cucumbers, Al Gore, mold, toxic waste, spinach ... AND ... my breakfast this morning!!

My buds, Sheri and Kelly, introduced me to these green smoothie-type things from the Green Monster Movement. They look kinda gross, but taste delicious! Apparently, if you drink these concoctions you will have more energy, feel better, and exhibit a healthy glow. Oh - and your poop will be green. How exciting and body friendly!

Happy St. Patty's Day everyone!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Love Equation (APAD)

The 176th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Walmart + $40 + frothy milk + espresso = Homemade Cappuccinos = Love

Monday, March 15, 2010

Mission Blank Page (APAD)

The 175th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


As I was waiting at the Good Year place to get my oil changed, I was sitting next to this old guy who was reading a notebook. Actually, he appeared to be intently studying it and even asked for the volume to be turned down on the TV so he could "concentrate." After about 20 minutes I got up to peek through the garage window, hoping my car was in there. When I went to sit back down, I just happened to look over the old guy's shoulder at his notebook .... And ......

THERE WAS NOTHING IN IT!

No words. No pictures. No scribbles. Just blank pages.

What. The. H.

So then I got to thinking, maybe he's a spy on some kind of sweet espionage mission. Maybe you can only see the words on the page through specialized glasses. And, he was wearing glasses. Hmmmmmmmm ... Unfortunately, my car was ready within 2 minutes of the blank page discovery, so I had to end my detective work. Ah well. Once again, I will never know the truth behind this bizarre event.

On another note, is it just me or does anyone else think the Michelin Man looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Bullets on Blogger (APAD)

The 174th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


I just discovered the code to use bullet points in my post! I don't really understand why Blogger doesn't already offer it as an option when you're editing/formatting posts, but they don't. Weirdos.

Who knew something so small could make me so happy?!

So, here's my post in 4 bullet points:

  • Today, I am alive.


  • Last night, I dreamt I cut off all my fingers with a sawzall. Which is really quite perplexing, because after I cut off all the fingers on one hand, how did I hold it to cut off the fingers on the other hand???


  • If I hear the song Fireflies by Owl City one more time, I'm going to put a bullet point in my head.


  • Springing forward is wrong, unjust, and designed to make us suffer.
  • Saturday, March 13, 2010

    A Red Cup, Please (APAD)

    The 173rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



    The single red cups, available for purchase, at the local liquor store are proof that: (1) Kegger party season has begun and/or (2) that people need a reminder about the endless fun beer pong has to offer before they check out ... with their Natty Light, of course.

    Friday, March 12, 2010

    The Good and The Bad (APAD)

    The 172nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    It might not officially be Spring yet, but it was 70 degrees today so I'm saying it's freakin' Spring. The good thing about Spring time is that I can wear flip flops (without socks) again! The bad thing, though, is that I have to start shaving my legs again. I like my hairy, Wintry self. Spring is just so much work in the hygiene department.

    Thursday, March 11, 2010

    29, 29, 29 (APAD)

    The 171st picture(s) in "A Picture A Day" series.


    My birthday was lovely.

    It started off bright and early with a birthday phone call from my BFF, Stephanie. Then, my coworkers gave me a super delicious birthday breakfast filled with quiches, waffles, donuts, fruit, and juices. It was soooooo good. During my lunch break, I discovered my knock-off troll beads had arrived in the mail and proceeded to have lunch-time bead fun with friends! The rest of the afternoon was uneventful just paperwork, meetings that almost happened, and fingerprints ... nothing birthday worthy ... until ....

    I got Tiffany's card! Well, actually I didn't get it, because she never sent it. Instead, she took pictures of it and posted it on Facebook for me. Apparently, I'll get it when I see her this summer. HAHAHA! I love it!





    Thanks to everyone for making my birthday happy and special!!

    Wednesday, March 10, 2010

    Now I Know (APAD)

    The 170th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    I always believed "The Man" was some abstract authority figure who I blamed for the trials and tribulations of my everyday life. Today was eye-opening for me, however, because I actually found myself driving behind "The Man."

    Who would have guessed "The Man" lives in Southeastern Ohio and drives a white, pedophile-style van???

    Tuesday, March 9, 2010

    Dieting Guru (APAD)

    The 169th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



    Oprah once told me that you shouldn't eat food after 7pm. Apparently, when the clock hits 7 food automatically turns into fat cells. That's probably why my thighs seem to get bigger everyday I wake up!

    So, tonight, I'm trying to avoid food, particularly the ice cream that's in the freezer right now. I thought if I drank a Diet A&W Cream Soda and imagined, really, really, really hard that it was actually a real Root Beer Float, I just might be able to curb my cravings ...

    Yeah.

    It's not working.

    I'm actually even hungrier now than when I started this blog.

    Screw it. I'm eating the ice cream and blaming it all on Oprah.

    Monday, March 8, 2010

    Nice Shirt, Kid (APAD)

    The 168th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    Mom: What are you wearing to Johnny's birthday party???!!!!

    Kid: Just my Earth Day t-shirt.

    Mom: Get that shirt off now, dammit!

    Kid: How about my "Jesus Loves Me" one?

    Mom: Try again.

    Kid: The one with the cuddly panda bear on it?

    Mom: Don't even get me started.

    Kid: My Hooters shirt?

    Mom: Finally! Now hurry up and get in the damn car!


    Thanks for the pic, Tiffany!

    Sunday, March 7, 2010

    The Other Kind of Troll (APAD)

    The 167th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    I am officially the proud owner of a troll bead bracelet!

    Don't know what I'm talking about? Yeah, up until a few weeks ago, I had no clue what they were either. But ... now ... I'm totally obsessed. Troll bracelets are basically charm bracelets, but cooler ... and really expensive. The beads pictured above were between $28 and $41 a piece. Yes, a piece! For a single freakin' bead! I know it's crazy, but I love them. I can't help it.

    I got the Bead of Fortune, Buddha bead, Viking bead, and the Venus bead. There's hundreds of beads to choose from though. They're not just silver either, there are gold beads, gem beads, pearl beads, stone beads and colorful glass beads as well. Since they're so expensive, I'm only going to buy the real troll beads if they're super cool ones, like mythology, symbols or interesting designs. For the rest, I'm taking my BFF Stephanie's advice and purchasing cheap knock-offs on Amazon or Ebay. I got 100 glass beads for $17!

    You should check out the troll website here and join the cool crowd of troll owners.

    Saturday, March 6, 2010

    You're Cool ... NOT! (APAD)

    The 166th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    I wish there was a Richter scale to measure the douchie-ness of douchebags. I would register this guy at a 9.5.

    Friday, March 5, 2010

    Twists & Turns (APAD)

    The 165th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    Today was a strange day. So, why not end it with Shutter Island, a strange movie.

    I loved it. (Mason thought it was OK, but he doesn't count.)

    I think this movie is best watched with as little information as possible. So, don't read reviews and when someone who has seen it tries to tell you about it STOP THEM. I knew nothing about this movie before I saw it and I'm really glad I didn't.

    All I'm going to say is ... GO SEE IT.

    Thursday, March 4, 2010

    Yellow Flowers

    The 164th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    In the Sioux language, there is no word for goodbye ...

    So, Juanita, someday we will see you again.

    Wednesday, March 3, 2010

    Car No Wash (APAD)

    The 163rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



    Apparently someone thinks I need to wash my car.

    How am I supposed to help it if it hasn't rained??

    Tuesday, March 2, 2010

    Ginger, I Like (APAD)

    The 162nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    Surprisingly, my hatred for tea has come to an end. Ginger flavored tea is yummy.

    Monday, March 1, 2010

    $1.59 A PUOND! (APAD)

    The 161st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


    I'm guessing the letter-putter-upper of this sign doesn't have any spelling bee wins under his belt. Probably didn't pass Kindergarten either or 1st grade or whatever the hell grade it is where you learn which direction the letter N is supposed to face.