Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Mad Skillz (APAD)

The 120th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.

Over the next three days I will be introducing you to three new Chauncelot characters whom I've identified over the past year. (You may remember some of the past weirdos: the Pink Bathrobe Lady and the Man/Woman, Albert and, the man who started it all, Cliff.) The first in the trio is the Mad Rapper of Chauncelot.

The Mad Rapper believes he has mad rapping skillz that must be shared with the entire neighborhood. He and his Walkman (yes, I said Walkman and, no, I didn't mean ipod) traipse from block to block rapping as loudly as he can. If he's really feeling the beat, he'll even stop in the middle of the road and do some head-bobbing and fist-pumping hand gestures before continuing on. From what I've heard, he seems to prefer Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, and Eminem songs. I'm fairly certain he's trying to be discovered, but unfortunately for him he has three major problems: (1) He lives in rural Ohio and I'm guessing the chances of "discovery" aren't great here; (2) He still has a Walkman and that's all I'm gonna say about that; and, most importantly,
(3) He SUCKS. His rapping skillz are HELLACIOUS. If he was on American Idol auditions, Simon Cowell would probably say something like, "Even Jesus hates you." Harsh, I know, but true.

Despite my criticisms, however, The Mad Rapper lives to rap another day. I hope one day he will knock on my door and try to sell me a cassette tape with some original hip hop. I will fork over the $10 just so I can share the joy with all of you.


Tiffany said...

you should give him a copy of Vanilla Ice.

Julie45710 said...

OMG!!!! "Even Jesus hates you!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bash said...

and yeah... if you really want a copy of TearDrop's EP, we can make it happen. it's terribly wonderful or maybe wonderfully terrible. i can't decide.

Danielle said...

Oh I've enjoyed plenty of TearDrop! I have to say that TearDrop has better skillz than the Mad Rapper