I'm back from Minnesota, so now I will finally get back to my regular blogging schedule. I sincerely apologize for my absence. (I know you all missed my bloggy posts!)
The trip home was awesome. The trip back was a long one ... it went well until we were about 1 minute away from home and then got pulled over by a State Trooper. Sigh. Amazing that we drove 15-20 miles over the speed limit for almost 800 miles and then got stopped within spitting distance of our house! But, the Super Trooper was indeed super because he let us off with just a warning!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Trooper Whoever You Are.
Today, I picked my pups up from the kennel. They barked and howled the entire way home then ran in circles around the yard for about a half an hour. Pretty sure they were happy to be released from dog prison! (Little do they know they'll be headed back in a couple of months.) I also unpacked, cleaned, reorganized, made some to do lists, filled bird feeders, went shopping, stopped at Starbucks, danced, cleaned my ears, took out the trash ...
And now, I'm exercising with my brand new Wii and Wii fit.
Well ... I'm exercising while eating Peanut M&M's. But, I'm drinking a Diet Coke so I'm pretty sure it all evens out. Anyway, I gotta get back to my Rhythm Kung Fu session so I'll check ya lata!!!
Sorry about my blogging hiatus. I really meant to blog, but then things got CRAY-zee with Christmas shopping, packing, and the loooooonnnnggggg drive to the lands in the North ... (Check out that snow!) ...
But, here I am!!!!
Last night, I surprised Elli-bells with an early Christmas present ... ME!
As you can see, she totally loved it!
Today, I'm finishing up shopping for last minute stocking stuffers, baking cookies with my Momma, wrapping presents, and stuffin' my face fulla food!
Tonight, (well really early tomorrow morning) there's going to be a total eclipse of the heart moon. What is totally awesome about this eclipse is that not only is it a total eclipse, but it coincides with the Winter Solstice! Very, very cool.
For us Eastern time people, you should set your alarms for about 2:30am and start watching the moon ... it should be in full contact with Earth's shadow around this time. The moon will be all glowy red and cool.
The big friggin' unfortunate part about all this is ...
IT'S CLOUDY HERE!
What. The. Hell.
It's been over 400 years since this has happened and it's gotta be freakin' cloudy.
Whatev. I'm still setting my alarm in the hopes that the clouds part for a brief moment!
Hilde and I have been listening to Christmas music most of the day ... Unfortunately, many of the songs we've heard have now been added to my "That song is banned from my ears FOREVER" list. Thoughtful as I am, I thought I'd shared my bah-humbugler list with you :)
Just Say "No" to this Playlist:
Dominick the Donkey by Someone
Little Drummer Boy by (Ummmm) Someone Else
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Yet Some Other Person
Anthing sung by Alvin & The Chipmunks
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Jimmy Boyd (Worse song ever!!!!!!!!)
Anything by Wham .... (I've never heard of them, but Mason insists they're awful. Lisa - Mason says "Hi")
Silent Night by Anyone (Um, so don't shoot me for this one 'cause I know alot of people like it ... but it's a total snore fest. Just wake me when it's over, OK?)
O Come All Ye Faithful by Whoever (Even though I love A Very Brady Christmas and watch it religiously each year, The Brady's have ruined the song for me. *SPOILER ALERT* At the very end of the movie, Mike gets trapped in an architectural accident and it isn't until he hears Carol and the rest of the Brady's singing O Come All Ye that he is able to muster the strength to pull himself out. One of the cheesiest, heart wrenching and undeniably pathetic moments in TV history.)
Christmas Shoes by Newsong (Uhhhh, have you heard it?)
Who Took The Merry Out of Christmas by Donny Osmond (Um. There are no words to describe ...)
I didn't post yesterday, because somehow my laptop was freakin' infected with this System Tool 2011 virus. Major ugh-ness. I spent all night trying to manually remove it and I think I finally did. (And, no, I don't look at porn either so I have no idea how I got it!)
(2) Large tonsils.
I have huge tonsils and I hate them.
(3) Small pieces of popcorn.
I have had a small piece of popcorn caught in my giganto tonsils all day and I cannot get it out. I have tried gargling massive amounts of water, sticking my fingers down my throat trying to dislodge it, and just now I jabbed a dental tool at my tonsils trying to move them around and I think I did some damage because it's swollen now.
Ok, so I know it's the worst looking freakin' sun out there, but I did not have the patience to make a realistic looking sun that's 30 inches in diameter!!!! So, instead, I used my yoga ball wrapped it in 4 rolls of bubble wrap, wrapped two blankets around that and then finished it off with a yellow rain coat.
After seeing my creation, I think the kid regrets asking me to help him with his physics project. (I can't imagine why.)
But, maybe ...
He'll never ask for my help again!
Or, if he does, I'll just remind him of the awesome sun I once created that totally didn't embarass him at all.
Yes, I'm mean. And, no, I don't care.
(FYI - Don't ever pick the "easy" project of doing a scale model of the solar system, because it's hard and sucks ass.)
So, I want to know: What kind of a bed-maker are you?
Do you ...
A) Make your bed in the morning.
B) Make your bed right before going to bed.
C) Don't make your bed at all.
E) None of the above.
Personally, I'm a right before bed bed-maker. I never, ever make my bed in the morning after getting up, because I'm way to lazy for all that and no one looks in my room anyway. So, what's the point?
However, I always end up making my bed every night right before I get in it. I cannot fall asleep with all the sheets and blankets twisted and wrapped around each other from the night before. I need everything nice, neat, and comfy. So, my bed always looks great for about 30 seconds each night before I climb in and mess it all up again!
It may only be a dusting but at least it's SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, as the little snow flakes fall, I'm watching New York, I Love You, which, oddly enough, has me completely engrossed. I'm also eating these 7 Layer Bars that I made earlier. I'm not sure if I like them or hate them and yet I've eaten half a pan. They are just so disgustingly delightful.
Happy Weekend-END everyone! I'm so sad it's almost Monday already :(
"Old lady caught stealing at a store in our airport. Taken away in handcuffs. I guess old people can do bad things. My guess is that's why they get patted down at security checkpoints like the rest of us."
If you've followed my previous Chauncelot Fine Dining Menus (Part Un, Part Deux), read any of my crockpot posts (Uno, Dos ), or saw what we eat when the cupboards are empty (Eins, Zwei) then you know that, for the most part, I'm all about canned, boxed, or suppppeeerrrr easy meals.
Well, not for Thanksgiving!
Even though Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday, I love my family so much that I go all out and make everything from scratch.
Do they appreciate my love?
Of course not, but that's OK with me ... I can hold a grudge like nobody and you betta believe I'll use this against them for the next, oh, year or so :)
So, here's the Chauncelot Thanksgiving 2010 Menu:
Ok, well the turkey isn't from scratch. I bought it from the store, hormone-filled and all. I hate turkey so I didn't partake, but everyone said it was good.
Homemade Stuffing: AWESOME.
There's ham in the background! Yeah, we had ham too, but I didn't take a picture ... It was fab! And, not from scratch. And, not organic ... it was cured with a "solution."
Garlic and Romano Cheese Mashed Potatos: Simply amazing.
My homemade rolls turned out purrrfect!
Don't playa hate on my green bean casserole, OK? I love this stuff!
Dutch Apple Pie with homemade crust: Yummmmmmmmmmm.
Pumpkin Pie with homemade crust: Da bomb (or so I was told ... I don't do anything pumpkin.)
Pecan Pie with homemade crust: Massive failure. I don't know what happened, but it doesn't look normal. And, it's rock hard. Oops.
Cheap Red Wine: Always good.
An empty sink: Rock on.
Food Coma: Yes, please!
Now, I'm off to scour the Black Friday Ads and see what tomorrow (early) morning brings!
My plea to all future airline passengers - Just go through the friggin' full body scanner and save my brother from having to pat down your nasty ass.
"I wAs advising this guy that I would be patting him down and he replied "as long as your not a homosexual, and I know your not a homosexual so its ok." Then I was patting his legs down and he said "I have to fart!" He proceeds to run five steps forward and jumps in to a semi squat saying" I have to fart. I knew your face was down there and so I didn t want to fart." This is what kinda people I see all the time."
Um, crap ... today was not a good day for the Lord to be watching me with those creeper eyes. I probably won't get anything for Christmas now. Or, wait, is that Santa? I always get confused about who I'm supposed to be good for ...
I've decided to start publishing his emails to me, because they're not normal emails like "Hi, how are you? I'm fine, blah, blah." They're AWESOME emails about random stuff that happens to him everyday. Here's the most recent one:
"Tina and i were riding up this long escalator this morning heading to work. This Guy turns around in front of us ands tells us "...I just want you to know I have to fart. I have to fart." We didn't acknowledge him or react in anyway. I think he wanted us to talk to him. Then he said " I guess I don't have to fart." He turned and that was it. Weirdo"
Yeah, I was only planning on hiking for an hour or so and then I took the wrong trail, got super freakin' lost, and ended up in the woods for about 4 hours until I found my way out - just before dark. Was a killer workout! No, really. I thought I was gonna die several times ...
Thankfully, though, my BFF Steph motivated me to find my way outta the woods by texting me with promises of beer and pizza should I ever return. I ran like hell when I heard those beautiful words!
And, beer and pizza we most certainly had! Although, the beer-drinkin' dog we partied with tonight drank most of my last one. I can't blame him though ... Blue Moon Winter Abbey Ale is da bomb!
Now, I'm ending my night eating soybeans, drinking Life Water, and seriously considering beginning a marathon of my DVR'd 16 and Pregnant episodes.
I first heard about the health benefits of coconut oil on the news, but I read more about it here (and some other places I can't recall anymore). I haven't actually tried cooking with it yet, but I have been using it for about three weeks now as a ...
I really love it. And, it won't make you break out ... supposedly it helps eliminate acne blemishes and is great for anyone suffering from eczema or dermititis. So far, it's working better than any moisturizer I've used before! It's also fairly inexpensive. I paid $10 for the jar above and it will last me months I'm sure.
Coconut oil comes in a solid form, so if you decide to try it out as a moisturizer you will need to heat it up so that it melts a bit. What I did was put a couple spoonfuls of it in a small glass jar to store in my bathroom. Every night before I put it on, I let hot water run against the jar to melt some of the oil. Works perfect! One of the cons about using coconut oil versus a regular moisturizer, though, is that your skin will look and be greasy after you put it on ... it takes a bit for it to absorb. For me, it works out OK, because I always watch TV for a while before going to sleep anyway, so once my head hits the pillow the oil is absorbed!
Did I tell you I gave up coffee? Yeah ... Sadly, I did. I love coffee with all my heart, but I think it makes me crazy. And, it upsets my stomach. So, here I am ... coffee-less.
Even without coffee, I'm still crazy, but life without a tummy ache is pretty dang nice. The problem is, though, I cannot for the life of me find a hot beverage that equals the wonderfulness of coffee. And, with cold weather approaching this has become quite a problem.
Sure, I like ginger tea, but not enough to drink it everyday. And, every other kind of tea that I've tried is just ... blah. Bottom line: Hot tea doesn't get me hot (and bothered).
I wouldn't mind drinking iced tea everyday. I do love it unsweetened, especially Tazo's passion tea. (Yummmmmmmmmmm.) But, iced tea in icy weather certainly won't help to warm my innards.
So, I am in search of a hot beverage that rivals coffee in it's smell, taste, and ability to soothe one's soul.
It's Samhain and I couldn't be happier! I hope you all have something nefarious planned for the day ... Me? I will be doing wickedly fun things like cutting back my garden, making chili, watching the Vikes, and later, satisfying my thirst for blood with a little Dexter. My friend Stephanie and I engaged in all sorts of evil activities last night, so I'm using Samhain as my day to rest and restore!
Last night, Steph and I hung out with our buds JT and TT. JT made us all sorts of wonderful whore-day-overs hor d'oeuvres and I wanted to share with you one of his recipes, perfect for your Samhain get-togethers ...
JT's Samhain Snausages
What you will need:
Can of Vienna sausages
Can of Easy Cheese
First, take the straw and poke a hole through each sausage.
Then, suck out the sausage center, but I would suggest keeping this part of the recipe to yourself ... might gross your guests out to know you were sucking on their sausages. (Muhahahahaha!)
Next, fill with Easy Cheese.
And, there you have it. Your snausage-fest is complete! I recommend digging in quickly before you start thinking about what you're eating and totally gross yourself out!!
A wickedly wrong and yet disgustingly delightful Samhain treat.
Tonight was trick or treating night in Chauncelot ... Weird, right? In Minnesota we always went trick or treating ON HALLOWEEN!! Doesn't really matter, though, because a Chauncelot Halloween is always entertaining no matter when it occurs!
Check out Albert above. He actually had a Halloween costume this year!! Normally, he just dresses up as Albert, so I'm kinda thinking he stole the costume from someone else. He was very polite, said thank you, and even said, "Happy How-ween. Eat da candy."
At one point, Mason and I were looking at the people coming and Mason said, "Look that kid's wearing his Dad's coal mining outfit." Then we looked closer ... "Oh, wait. That is Dad."
Full-grown freakin' man out trick or treating. Dude, you're a loser. (I gave him the barfy banana-flavored Laffy Taffy.)
Even Naschair made it out for the festivities!!!!! We don't know exactly what she was doing, but she kept riding up and down the street, while her freakishly tall boyfriend walked beside her.
Unfortunately, I didn't capture all of the Chauncelot dysfunction on camera - like the trick or treating newborns or the prostitutes mothers dressed up like sexy bunnies, french maids, and one in a freaky bondage costume - but, nevertheless, my memories of it are priceless!
My Dashboard Jesus gets around. Sometimes, He's in my car ... other times other places ... but, tonight He sits in a plant in my kitchen window.
I like Dashboard Jesus.
I often engage Him in religious debates, but lately I've resorted to asking Him all of my religious questions. Tonight, I asked Dashboard Jesus a question, a question so profound and perplexing that it has stumped me for many a year:
Even harder, when your loved one falls asleep during your Skype session!
Basically, I'm forcing my niece and my sister to Skype weekly with me. Since I live so far away, I'm really worried that E won't know me. I don't want to be the scary Aunt from Ohio! I'm the cool one, remember? So, until I can move closer, Skype will have to do!
But, E is over it. She gets bored and then falls asleep.
Then, she poops her pants and sleeps some more ...
Dang girl! Sleep at night, stay awake for Auntie!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I probably should have blogged yesterday after the marathon, to give y'all the details on the race, but I was so friggin' sore and tired that I just couldn't do it. I'm back home in Ohio now - still sore and tired - but ready to blog!!!!
On Sunday morning, we left for the race at 5am. It was early and cold and I was like "Oh hell no. This is not good!" Luckily, though, I had my big girl panties on so I toughened up pretty quickly and was rarin' to go! We made it to San Francisco just before 6am and were at the start line in plenty of time. There were TONS of people there ... over 20,000 women participated in the race! The marathon started at 7am, but there were so many people there that we didn't end up crossing the start line until like 7:23am ...
Once we finally started moving it was all good. The first couple of miles were easy and I started to get over confident about my amazing half marathon abilities ... until ... I hit the hills. They were KILLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first couple weren't bad, but then we started to hit hills that seemed to go up FOREVER. I was still managing pretty well, though, until I hit mile 8. For whatever reason, mile 8 sucked balls. I started to get tired and my feet were really hurting, but I pushed on! By mile 10, I was really hating life. It had been raining for quite a while by this point and my backpack thingy broke so I was carrying that and holding the extra weight was not fun. My feet also felt like they were completely covered in blisters. And ... the hills! Every time I saw a hill I was like "Seriously go f&*! off. I'm done with you!"
Butttttttttt, I finished it.
I finished the half marathon in 3 hours 12 minutes and 24 seconds ...
I was totally psyched!
That was my personal best. The Monday before the race I walked 12 miles in 3 hours and 20 minutes, so my goal for the race was just to get it done in 4 hours. I figured the hills would slow me wayyyyy down ...
But, they didn't!
I kicked ass.
I'm totally happy with myself. (And, I only ended up with 2 blisters!)
I'm not even gonna talk about what happened after the race, because I'm still traumatized by it. Basically, after walking 13.1 miles we were forced to walk another 3 miles just to get to the bus to take us back to the start line and then the bus dropped us off AT A HILL where we then had to walk like another mile back to the car. It was still raining and I was cold and wet and my muscles were so stiff and sore that I literally hobbled ... it was awful! (To the women that did the full marathon, I can't even imagine how you must have felt ... YOU ARE AWESOME!)
It was all good though ... Look at my cool new necklace that I got for completing the race!!!!! (I also got a cool Nike bag and a dri-fit shirt ... but they're just not as blog worthy as my new necklace.)
All in all, it was a great half marathon and a great trip. I got to see all the cool sights that San Fran has to offer ... Tiffany was even nice enough to take me all the way to San Quentin just so I could see the prison! Come on, how can someone take a trip to Cali and not want to see the massiveness that is San Quentin?