Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year! (APAD)

The 101st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


A laptop + a webcam + a bottle of rose champagne = New Year's Eve with Tiffany!

Hoping that everyone has a safe and fun-filled night!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Agave Worm (APAD)

The 100th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


I'm celebrating my 100th picture post with a shot of Mezcal!! Ok ... not really. Aside from the fact that I have to work tomorrow, drinking Mezcal is akin to drinking liquid smoked sausage. It disgusts me. But, what intrigues me about Mezcal is the worm at the bottom of the bottle. What's the purpose? I've never understood the point and no one seems to have the answer. So, I googled it and found various explanations, including that it's a hallucinogenic, an aphrodisiac, and proof that the liquor is indeed high proof - if the worm is intact than you know there's a high alcohol content! The bottom line, though, is the reason for the worm is obscure. No one really knows.

This leads me to believe the real story behind the worm goes something like this: During a drunken escapade, a dude, thinking he was cool and probably trying to impress some random chick, said, "Hey, dare me to put a worm in my tequila and drink it?" "Yeah do it," cry the bar patrons. And so the dude chugs it and then proudly lifts his glass and sticks out his tongue to show all he swallowed the worm. He thinks he's macho and so does the girl 'cause they leave together. All of the other drunk dudes witness the amazing feat of the dude that drank a worm and then got the girl. From that day on Mezcal was bottled with a worm so that all of the brave men who drank it may hope that they too would get lucky. And so ends the drunken story of the Agave worm.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Vlogging (APAD)

The 99th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



Well, I'm disappointed because I was hoping to upload a video for my post today. Since I have a new webcam, I thought it'd be fun to give vlogging a try. Unfortunately, Blogger hates me or my videos, not sure which. Every time I tried to upload the vid it would take like an hour and then it would show the video but when I would click play it would say "Video is not available. Try again later." So I said, "Screw it." Now all you get is a picture of me and my vlogging frustration.

Monday, December 28, 2009

The 50/50 List (APAD)

The 98th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



50 things I think are AWESOME:

1. Sigourney Weaver, because her name is awesome.
2. The whistle of a tea kettle, because it's comforting and annoying at the same time.
3. The lady at the local mart, because she knows exactly what I want without me telling her.
4. Stu's song in The Hangover, because it's ingenious.
5. Quentin Tarantino, because I love every movie he's ever made.
6. Dangly earrings, because they're pretty and dangly.
7. Weekends, because I can do whatever I want!
8. My bed, because it's comfy.
9. Inglorious Basterds, because the bar scene is bad ass.
10. Dr. Drew, because I find him oddly attractive.
11. Same-sex marriage, because it should be legal.
12. Quarters and dimes, because they buy me pop.
13. Aloe plants, because they heal me.
14. Playing 'words with friends' on my iphone, because it makes my mind do work, son.
15. Gossiping with friends, because it's fun to gossip with friends. Duh.
16. My new Garmin, because I always get lost.
17. Michael Scott and Dwight Shrute from The Office, because they're Michael Scott and Dwight Shrute. And, if you've seen The Office you'd understand.
18. The Ped Egg, because it makes my nasty, smelly feet smooth. Still smelly, but smooth.
19. Snow days, because then I don't have to work!
20. Japanese game shows dubbed over in English, because they are hilarious!
21. Thrifting, because sometimes you find damn good stuff.
22. Hookah parties, because the Hookah rocks.
23. Reading, watching, and believing in Vampires, because they're freaky and cool.
24. Hunting ghosts, because I want to see one!
25. Old cemetaries, because they're beautiful in a strange way.
26. Mold, because it's interesting to look at.
27. Goosebumps, because they give me a weird but nice feeling.
28. Duct tape, because it always gets the job done.
29. Chinese food, because I can eat until I'm stuffed and yet still eat more.
30. Secrets, because everyone needs some.
31. Driving a standard, because they're fun even though I'm bad at managing the clutch and gas.
32. Hot, hot showers, because they feel sooooooooo good.
33. The neighbor boy that shovels my driveway, because he only charges me $2.
34. Composting, because it'd be cool not to have to pay for trash pick-up.
35. The movie, A Very Brady Christmas, because I cannot even begin to describe it's awesomeness.
36. Amazon.com, because it has cheap mp3's that download right to my itunes.
37. My iphone, because I'm in ilove with it.
38. A clean car, because mine never is.
39. Sour candy, because it makes my mouth water and face scrunch up all funny like.
40. Heidi Fleiss, because her weird obsession with birds makes me feel sorry for her.
41. Guy Ritchie, because he makes really awesome movies.
42. Eastwick, Community, and Glee, because I am excited that there are some new shows actually worth watching.
43. Jersey Shore, because it is the dumbest and funniest reality show I have ever watched.
44. Tori Spelling, because I should be her best friend.
45. Louisiana, because it just seems like a cool state and I wanna live on the Bayou.
46. Lady Gaga, because I can't get Bad Romance outta my head and I'm not sure what to make of her.
47. The "Stuff You Missed in History Class" podcast, because I learn so much from them.
48. Art museums, because I could stay in one for hours and I secretly want to be one of the tour guides.
49. Fences, because they clearly define social boundaries.
50. Protestors, because I love protests and always want to join in on one.

50 things I think are NOT SO AWESOME:

1. Fruit flies, because they're pesky and annoying as hell.
2. Ants, because I freakin' hate them and don't understand their purpose in life.
3. The woman across the street, because she is constantly screaming at her kids.
4. The local video store, because they're mean and I hate them.
5. Parallel parking, because I'm terrible at it and avoid it at all costs.
6. Small towns, because everyone is in your business.
7. Gravel roads, because every road should be paved by now. Geesh.
8. Eyebrows, because they're a pain to wax.
9. Legs, because I hate shaving them.
10. Horn-rimmed glasses, because the people who wear them give me the willies.
11. Porcelain figurines, because they're just wrong.
12. Rush Limbaugh, because the guy is one of the biggest idiots alive.
13. The show, Nip/Tuck, because I am terribly disappointed with the latest season.
14. Tea, because it's like drinking dirty water.
15. Pepsi, because it's like drinking motor oil.
16. Blue mountain dew, because you don't even want to know what it does to my stomach.
17. Mittens, because they put your fingers out of commission and just aren't practical.
18. Any Lord of the Rings movies, because they're so damn long and boring.
19. Myspace, because it's so two years ago.
20. Email, because texting is faster.
21. Denise Richards, because I watched her reality show and came away thinking, "She's a real biatch."
22. Eye boogers, because they're gross and irritating.
23. Restless leg syndrome, because I think it was just something pharmaceutical companies came up with so we'd have to buy more medicine.
24. President Obama, because I am very disappointed in him right now.
25. Ellen Degeneres, because I'm mad that she's taking over on American Idol. I loved crazy ass Paula.
26. Incense, because it gives me a headache.
27. Anything mathematical, because, seriously, what's the point?
28. Sitting in a coffee shop, because I always feel like I should be talking about something intellectual and interesting.
29. Cosmo magazine, because there's too many ads in there and I'm sick of all the articles on pleasing your man in bed.
30. Cracks in pavement, because if you step on one you'll break your mother's back.
31. Tonya Harding, because she made us all feel sorry for Nancy Kerrigan. (Whatever happened to them anyway?)
32. Folding and/or hanging laundry, because it's such a drag.
33. Black licorice, because it makes me want to puke my balls off.
34. Diet Coke with vitamins in it, because I think it's a crock.
35. Creeping Charlie, because once that damn weed is in your yard it's never coming out.
36. Ticks, because one time a tick crawled up my nose.
37. Ear wax, because every year or so a huge ball of wax randomly falls out of my ear.
38. The frumpy, self-loathing cashier at Walmart, because the guy takes 5 hours to scan my groceries.
39. Paw paws, because they are nasty.
40. Teletubbies, because that baby sun is just too weird for me.
41. The Wiggles, because there's just something so wrong about grown men singing and dancing to children's songs.
42. Pencils, because I'd rather just white something out than erase it.
43. Cheap pens, because when it comes to pens its worth it to spend a few bucks more.
44. Open air stadiums, because watching sports in the comfort of a building is so much better.
45. Alec Baldwin, because I've just never liked him.
46. Nancy Grace, because (1) she's dramatic (2) she's full of herself (3) and she discusses the same thing over and over and over and over.
47. Soccer, because it's so not interesting.
48. The beeping of an alarm clock, because it means I have to get up and do something.
49. Public Service Announcements, because frankly I don't care.
50. Exercising, because I'd rather be napping ... or eating.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Dog Tired (APAD)

The 97th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Helped a friend move today.

Now I am dog-freakin'-tired.

I used and strained muscles I never even knew I had!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Movie Night! (APAD)

The 96th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!Avatar!

AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!AMAZING!

If you hadn't guessed, I loved it! My only disappointment was that James Cameron went with a predictable storyline filled with unfortunate cliches. If you can save the critical analysis for another time though, Avatar is a truly beautiful movie. Don't wait until it comes out on DVD either ... this is a MUST SEE in the theater!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Skype-mas! (APAD)

The 95th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Opening presents with the fam ... 800 miles apart from each other. At least Skype makes the distance seem a little less :)

Hoping that everyone can connect with family and friends both near and far today!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

All The Essentials (APAD)

The 94th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


At minimum, gift wrapping requires tape, scissors, wrapping paper, a glass of wine, and a random 12-pack of Mountain Dew. It would also be nice if you had gift tags, but I forgot mine downstairs so I am resorting to tagging gifts with a nearby Sharpie.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

That's Love (APAD)

The 93rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


I came home today to find my new earring rack. Mason made it for me out of scrap wood and an old umbrella. Awww, shucks.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Dinner, Interrupted (APAD)

The 92nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Although interesting and fun to look at, the loaf and a half of moldy bread totally cramped my dinner-making style.

What really amazes me though is that someone, who shall remain nameless, remarked upon my discovery: "Oh yeah, I noticed that earlier." Oh really! Then why the hell is it still sitting in the bread container and not in the garbage????

I really don't get it. I really, really don't...

Monday, December 21, 2009

Happy Solstice! (APAD)

The 91st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Sunlight beginning to wane on the shortest day and longest night of the year.

Happy Solstice! And, may the monsters of chaos be tamed for one more year!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ho! Ho! Ho! (APAD)

The 90th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


The burlesque reindeer: The real hoe behind Santa's "Ho Ho Ho!"

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Christmas Shopping (APAD)

The 89th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



The super shady Gift Oasis.

Even though it claims to be the answer to all Christmas shoppers prayers - an abundance of gifts! - I didn't stop. The creepy sign combined with the uber creepy and seemingly small building for what the name implies, kept me moving on to the safety of the Mall.

I think it's abandoned anyway.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Winter Storm Wear (APAD)

The 88th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


During a winter storm, it is advisable to wear thermals underneath lounging pants paired with cool socks and flip flops. This is so one can remain fashionable even during bad weather.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Relaxation Tip #1 (APAD)

The 87th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Stressed? Try a pop-up book. They soothe and mesmerize the soul.

Where's Waldo books are also proven to have similiar effects.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

New Thing, New Year (APAD)

The 86th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



Every year, I identify a food I don't like, but really want to and then, for the next year, try to get myself to enjoy it. Why do I do this? I really have no idea. I started it several years ago with guacamole. I always loved the look of guac dip, but didn't really care for the taste until I vowed one year that I would force myself to love it. Now, I have to stop myself from eating the whole bowl! Four years ago I taught myself to like pork rinds. Three years ago it was chocolate covered cherries. Two years ago it was green olives. Last year it was snow crabs and lobster. This year it has been tomato juice.

I have always been successful at my Forced Food is Love Experiment, until this year. I cannot, for the life of me, enjoy V8. I feel like I'm drinking tomato soup. I love tomatoes ... just not as a drink. I've tried spicing it up with Tabasco sauce. I've tried it over ice. I've tried different brands. I've tried mixing it with beer since Mason said he was sure I'd like it that way. I've tried it as a Bloody Mary with all the yummy vegetables in it. Nope. Nothing. I still hate it. I can't even drink more than a couple of sips before I feel like barfing.

I only have a couple more weeks to either learn to love tomato juice or face failure. I think I prefer failure. I can't take anymore V8! I haven't decided what next year's food will be, but once I do you can bet I'll blog about it!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Starbucks in the Evening (APAD)

The 85th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Whenever I have extra money, I spend it on a Venti Caramel Macchiato with Skim Milk.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Cultwear (APAD)

The 84th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


The Snuggie. A blanket with sleeves.

Is it just me or does the Snuggie look exactly like something someone in a cult would be wearing?

I have always been slightly disturbed by the Snuggie commercials, but after visiting the Snuggie website I am profoundly disturbed. Look at what they suggest the Snuggie is "perfect for:"


PUB CRAWLS? Who in their right mind would go to a bar in a Snuggie? MOVIES? Can you imagine sitting next to a Snuggie family in the movie theater? You'd never enjoy the movie, because you'd be so worried one of them was going to kill you! THE OFFICE? Dude, if one of your coworkers comes to work in a Snuggie just run ... and run fast!

The fact that the Snuggie website promotes it's wearing in public places, only confirms my suspicions that the maker of the Snuggie is a cult leader and that the Snuggie is, most freakin' definitely, cultwear.

Oh - And if you still really want a Snuggie just put your robe on backwards ...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Sunday Blues (APAD)

The 83rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


If Sunday means Monday and Monday means it's back to work then that means Sunday kinda sucks. For me, the Sunday Blues don't hit until about 4pm. Typically, that's when it sets in that my precious weekend is almost over.

I do many things to combat the Sunday Blues: Sometimes I just drown my sorrows in wine. Sometimes I exercise. Sometimes I get together with my bestest friends. Sometimes I veg in front of the TV. Sometimes I buy stuff. Sometimes I surf the 'net. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I sob heavily on Mason's shoulder. Sometimes I sit in a corner and rock back and forth. But, most often, I find the best combatant of the Sunday Blues to be food.

Today's alleviation came in the form of: a deconstructed salad, Public Enemies and a side of steak. For dessert? Season finale of Dexter with some popcorn on top!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

With Love, God (APAD)

The 82nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Candy from the Gods ... The delightful and delectable Chocolate Orange.

Friday, December 11, 2009

A Beefy Christmas

The 81st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Recently, Mason and I received a seriously awesome present, fresh freakin' beef! I never knew fresh meat tasted so good. Combine the delish beef with the other goodies in the gift basket - the pink hand grenade car magnet, the skull key caps, the brass knuckled key holder, the skull journal - and I figure that's just about the best damn present I've ever received! Our BFF's rock!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Twittered Out (APAD)

The 80th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



I deleted my Twitter account due to Twitter-related stress. At first, I liked it. It was interesting following different celebrities and reading their tweets. After awhile though, I realized that unless I logged on like every half an hour I'd be behind in tweet-reading by like 5,000 tweets! It became impossible to catch up.

Then I kept losing followers ... apparently my tweets weren't that interesting. I admit that I slacked on them after awhile, but initially I was pretty good at posting. Tiffany even tried to help by posting me on Follow Friday to try to get me more followers. Didn't help much. I'm too pathetic for Twitterverse.

Another factor that led to my Twitter demise, was my Twitter-related blog issues. You'll remember my post awhile back, where someone else's Tweets began showing up on my blog feed. WTH! It was really annoying. It happened again this past week so I ended up just deleting the widget. Screw that.

So, now I am Twitter-no-more. This brings me down to only two social networking sites to worry about: Myspace and Facebook. I've been contemplating deleting Myspace because, well, it's dumb. But, it would make it more difficult to cyber-stalk certain people, so I'm leaving it up for now. I just don't update it. Facebook makes it impossible to cyber-stalk people, which I hate, but I love it for the ability to connect to people from the past. Facebook stays for sure.

Anyway, maybe someday I'll post about my belief that all social networking sites add an element of stress to our lives, whether we're aware of it or not. For now, though, I'd just like to say:

Goodbye Twitter. You suck.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I Love GERMS! (APAD)

The 79th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.




Today I attended a training on communicable diseases. I learned many things. For instance, I found out I'm really good at washing my hands. The trainer told me that my hands were the cleanest in the class, which was odd to me considering I'm not a psycho-hand-washing freak like several in the training. But, yay for me anyway! I also learned that I've been right all along about the over use of sanitizer in our society. I've always figured the more germs I'm exposed to, the more immune I'll be. I was right!

I even won my very own germ protection kit, complete with a face mask and gloves. Who'da thunk that I'm good at matching communicable disease pictures with their correct name? Not me. Up until today's contest, I had never even heard of things like thrush or fifth disease. Apparently, I just rock at guessing.

I felt bad about winning the germ protection kit, though, because I will probably never use it. I don't believe in hand sanitizer and I certainly can't see myself wearing a face mask or gloves around town. I'm sure there was another person in the training that would have actually used it. But, hey, too bad, right? They aren't communicable disease rock stars like I am!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Boogers (APAD)

The 78th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


I had a weird booger complex today. I kept feeling like there was a huge booger sticking out of my nose when I was talking to people. It was really strange and made my day most uncomfortable. But, it did get me thinking about boogers. Namely, what the hell is the scientific name for a booger? I have seriously never heard of a booger being referred to as anything other than a booger.

I decided to google it.

Here's what I found out from The New York Times: There is no scientific name for a booger! It really is a booger! Other interesting booger related news includes the term rhinotillexomania, which is a person who compulsively picks their nose. For all you health freaks out there, there's actually some freaky Austrian doctor who has made the claim that eating boogers actually boosts your immune system. A booger a day keeps the doctor away? And finally, those pesty eye boogers we all get are scientifically known as plica semilunaris.

Happy picking!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Sweet Surprise (APAD)

The 77th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Yesterday's party desserts, today's dinner, tomorrow's fat thighs and bittersweet regret.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Body Modifications (APAD)

The 76th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


I love tattoos. I love looking at people's tattoos. I love hearing the stories behind them. I love watching people's reactions to people's tattoos. I love how both the design and location of a tattoo can affect and influence social interaction. I love how the meaning of tattoos varies depending on the culture. I love how the social acceptance of tattoos can change depending on the environment you're in, at work versus in a bar. I love intricate, well-designed tats. I love old school military tats, prison-like tats, and anything done in just black ink.

And, if I had the money and the guts to do it, I'd have my entire left arm covered, from shoulder to wrist, in tats.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

SNOW! (APAD)

The 75th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


A garden in the snow. Welcome Winter!

Friday, December 4, 2009

The Best Popcorn (APAD)

The 74th picture in "A Picture A Day" series.



Microwave popcorn isn't nearly as good as popping corn yourself on the stovetop. In my opinion, stovetop corn is the best popcorn out there. And, it's really pretty easy to make once you get the hang of it. It takes me about 10 minutes.

My BFF, Stephanie, got me hooked on it. She brings it over every Sunday night for Dexter. Yummmmm. Then I started buying it myself and I love it. Her popcorn is way better though, because she gets her kernels at a bulk foods store. I just get mine at Walmart. I guarantee that once you get a taste of stovetop corn with some sea salt on it, you'll never crave the microwave stuff again!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Christmas Chauncelot-Style (APAD)

The 73rd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.




Aside from the Santa hat on the Gargoyles, I don't decorate the yard or the outside of the house for Christmas. Primarily, because I hate most of the Christmas decorations you can buy. Those blow-up decorations are just about the most awful thing I've seen. They're so ugly. If I was going to decorate with store-bought decorations, I would definitely go old school with just strings of light on a tree or something like that

So, just like with the Last Chaunce Cemetary, if I want to decorate I'm going to have to design and create everything myself. I already have an idea. I want to do a theme involving movies like Scrooged and Nightmare Before Christmas. Imagine Santa plus skeletons. Doesn't that sound awesome? It would feature the most unique Christmas decorations around! People would flock from far and wide to see the "Go Scrooge Yourself" yard sign that I've designed. I can just see the awesomeness of it! Mason thinks it would scare the neighbors and I'm sure someone would say we're sacrilegious, but then again, do I really care? Um no, I don't.

Personally I think this is a genius idea. The problem, however, is going to be getting the materials to do this. I mean, where am I going to find a skeleton wearing a Christmas hat. Yeah, probably no where. Most likely, I will have to buy Halloween stuff and then work Christmas into it. Looks like I will be scouring the Halloween clearance racks next year!

I'm excited already :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Fast Food Cravings (APAD)

The 72nd picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


Double-cheeseburger. Small fry. Big Mac. Chicken nuggets. McFlurry. #15 on the breakfast menu. Or #3. Small orange juice. Large coffee, two creams please. Double steak quesadilla. Cinnamon Twists. Gordita crunch. Mexican pizza. Soft beef taco. Crunchy chicken taco. Fire sauce. Roast beef sandwich. Curly fries. Lots of Arby's and Horsey sauce. Triple with cheese. Vanilla frosty. Biggie-size diet Coke. $5 footlong. Venti caramel macchiato with skim milk. Cranberry bliss bar. Potato oles. Churro. Crazy bread. Timbits: honey-dipped, strawberry, sour cream glazed, chocolate, blueberry. Cherry limeade. Strawberry limeade. Mozzarella sticks. Deep-fried mushrooms. CHEESE CURDS!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Riddle Me This (APAD)

The 71st picture in "A Picture A Day" series.


If Christopher Walken dances and no one is there to see it, is it still awesome?