Today was a pretty normal day at work. I wasn't having a fantastic day, but it certainly wasn't terrible either. Followed my normal routine: start at 7:30am, yada yada yada, then went to lunch at 12pm ... Now, when I take my lunch I always go home so I can let my two dogs, Madge and Hilde, outside. Every day, as soon as I walk in the door I kick whatever "work" sandals I'm wearing off and slide into my comfy flip-flops for the duration of my lunch hour and then sadly put my "work" shoes back on when it's over. (See, flippy-flops (FF) are strictly forbidden, at my work. Otherwise I'd be rockin' them daily.)
Well, today I drive back to work after lunch, pull in the lot and begin to step out of my car when I realize .... I still have my FF's on! Holy Criminey! Mother of Mary! I'm in violation of our agency policy and I know there's at least one person I work with that is a ADCE (Anal Dress Code Enforcer) and will for sure catch me with my forbidden FF's on. I don't see this person regularly, but, of course, today will be the day I will. So, I have two choices and only two minutes left of my lunch hour: (1) Go in with my FF's and hide my feet under my desk and hope there are no surprise meetings or (2) Go to Walmart and buy another pair of shoes and make up some random excuse as to why I'm late. I consult with my coworker who just pulled up next to me and she says, "Screw it. No one will notice." SIGH. Ok. I hope she's right.
So, I pretty much run to my desk like a crazed woman. Not at all conspicuous I know. I put my feet under my desk and then cover my feet with a tote (the tote that used to be my purse in fact!). Again not at all conspicuous. I mean, who doesn't cover their feet with a tote ... at work. So I'm sitting there trying to pretend like everything is normal when my coworker walks in. I decide to confide in him so I tell him what happened. He thinks it's hilarious. But, then he says, "Remember those pimp shoes? I still have them in my office. You want 'em?" "Ummmm, YES!" I say. Off he goes to get them.
Let me take a moment to describe these shoes. They are men's shoes, size 10, a pale pinkish color, and really, really long. They remind me of clown's shoes or, as one of my coworker's would say, something somebody would wear in a 70's porno. So, yes, these are the shoes I'm going to wear instead of my FF's. Because even though they are ugly, wayyyy too big for my feet, and do not match my outfit at all, they DO NOT, let me repeat DO NOT violate our agency dress code. Therefore, I cannot get in any trouble. PERFECT!
Below is a picture I took with my cell phone. The pic really doesn't do these shoes any justice, because they are much more awful in person, but it was the best I could do. Luckily, I only had to wear the pimp shoes for about 3 hours, before I was rockin' the FF's once again ...
The Shopping Day of the Centurion!
3 weeks ago