Sunday, February 8, 2009

"Taken" by the Movie Monster

Last night, Mason and I went to see the movie Taken. I was really excited to see it, because it was written by Luc Besson who directed the movie, The Professional, which is one of my all-time favorite movies. Let me just say, that going to see this movie was an all-around horrible experience, which Mason has recreated in the following comic strip: (*Spoiler Alert*)

Introducing ...
THE MOVIE MONSTER

The Movie Monster: a bulbuous, offensive, teenage girl, with little regard for those around her.

Immediately upon sitting down, the Movie Monster spoils the movie for everyone in the theater.


The movie begins.

But, the Movie Monster doesn't care ...

Brief moment of silence. Is she done?


Nope! The Movie Monster begins to punch her friend in the arm!


*Silence* It has to be over...right?


OF COURSE NOT!


UH OH! SCARY-BEARDED-REDNECK MAN sitting in front of the Movie Monster has had enough!





The crowd cheers! The Movie Monster responds. Ummmmmmm. WHAT???


Perhaps we've uncovered the reason for her monster-ishness. STARBURST!


Then ... suddenly ... the Movie Monster leaves the theater. I was filled with happiness! Now, I can finally enjoy the movie. But, then I realized


... THE MOVIE SUCKS!!!!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Part Beagle, Part Devil

We got our dog, Madge - whose name was supposed to be Audrey, by the way, but I was out voted! - from Angie who rescued her from the middle of a national forest. The vet told us that she's part beagle, part border collie, but I beg to differ. I am almost positive that Madge is at least 50% devil. Not only does she eat probably a pound of poop a day, but she is an escape artist, howls incessantly if she doesn't get her way, is so lazy that she will lay down and not move until you drag her (this is not fun when it's 3am in the winter and you're trying to get her to come in from outside!), eats my chapstick if I leave it out for 3 seconds or longer, becomes obsessively interested in any toy our other dog, Hilde, has even though we have about 500 hundred other dog toys she can choose from, is able to jump up on our countertops and dining room table, and will jump up on the bed in the middle of the night and lay right on top of me.

She also did this to her dog bed today:


Possibly the most disturbing thing of all is this:


Do you see it?

The eyes are gone.

Yesterday when I was picking up their toys, I noticed that although the stuffed animals were completely intact, they were all missing their eyes!




Here she is working her magic:


You may be wondering how we know that Madge is the eye-eater and not Hilde ... Well, Hilde has never, ever been destructive. The first day we brought Madge home, she ate my sandals. Shortly after that she chewed the corners off of our coffee table. Then she crawled under the couch and started tearing out the stuffing underneath. Yeah. Fun times. So, I'm about 99.9% positive that it's Madge.

See, just look at Hilde compared to Madge. It's like Good vs. Evil: