Thursday, October 2, 2008

Last Chaunce Cemetary

Yay, it's October! This is my favorite month of the year. Not only is the weather perfect - not too hot, not too cold - but it has the best holiday ever, Halloween! I have always wanted to decorate for Halloween, so last year I came up with the idea of doing a cemetary. Well, the "Last Chaunce Cemetary," that is :-)

Mason had a ton of old wood in the basement and he made 13 tombstones. They turned out really awesome and, if you could see our yard in person, it really does look like a cemetary! Here are some of them:




Once the tombstones were made, I realized that we really had to write something on them, because, otherwise, they were just, well, kind of "Blah." So, I wrote up epitaphs for me, Mason, Michael, Sean, Stephanie, Ryan, and then two of our friends that shall remain nameless due to their high profile status in Athens County. For the purposes of this blog, I shall call them Bonnie and Clyde. All of the epitaphs are personalized, so they might not make sense to some of you who don't know us very well. Here are the epitaphs:

Danielle
One of her talents was her eyes
Though it would be by this from which she dies
She crossed them again without refrain
Until one finally pierced her brain

Mason
Many years he spent on the pot
Making the sewer bill quite a lot
One day he awoke with a smile
But little did he know it would be his last pile

(Hey, he wanted to die from pooping!!)

Michael
In his room he was found
Rotting food and clothes abound
It was the mess that did him in
Because stinkiness was his sin

Sean
Never in the sun
In his room was the fun
Though his mind went lame
As he died by video game

Stephanie
Her sharp tongue finally did her in
Though she left this earth with a grin
For as her shotgun fell
She shouted, "I will see you in hell!"

Ryan
Too many Guinesses were had
What a poor, drunk lad
Though he will be known as the man
Who made the best Black 'n Tan

Bonnie
Though she resisted for years
Those pills relieved her fears
Joy, peace, and happiness she sought
But it really was "the farm" she bought

Clyde
Not by knife, gun, or sword
Nor by chamber, noose, or cord
But rather by a pile of books
That fell upon his handsome looks

The rest of the tombstones just have corny stuff on them like "Rest in Pieces", "I told you I was sick," Vlad the Impaler, etc. Mason made a new tombstone this year to replace the one that was stolen last year, so I have to think up a new saying .... I think I'm going to do a tombstone for Jerry and Marty. (If you don't know who Jerry is, then you need to read my first blog. Ryan was renamed, Marty, by one of his elderly patients so that's his new name now.) Any ideas on how they should die? I need to have a subject before I can write something ...

Here's the rest of the Halloween pictures. The one just below is of Madge, who was on the couch peeking out the window when I was taking these pictures. She is so bad! She shouldn't be on the couch!!!



Happy October!!!

3 comments:

Sissytits McGraw said...

This cemetary is bad ass!

The Brittster said...

Why don't I have a tombstone? Don't you love me anymore? Or, have you forgotten your family in MN????

Michelle Brown said...

Bonnie and Clyde are intrigued with their aliases.